terriblepurpose | Deer Country Contact

[Johnny's been on a bit of a bender after reviving after the battle. The one thing that sticks out the most in his mind is the students he was training either getting injured or dying on the field of battle. His last moments seeing Paul get dragged up and eaten by that thing. Everything had went red after that. And after after he revived that was all he could think about.

This message comes after he's been to a few of his new haunts and miraculously made it back to the dojo.]

Ph-Paul...

I don't know if you're back yet. Or if you're coming back.

I just want to say you were really fucking brave out there. Going out and pulling everyone together like that- to fight that huge son of a bitch.

You should be really fucking proud of the man you're growing up into.

But a kid like you shouldn't have to stare that shit down the way you did. And I don't know how to say it but I'm sorry- I'm your sensei and I should have been there to protect you from that thing instead of just letting it tear you to shit.

I'm sorry I let you down. That I couldn't even put that pussy piece of shit down to avenge you.

But... I'm not going to let you down again.

If you still wan to train under me when you get back, I'll work you harder than you've been worked before. You're going to be the toughest badass this place has ever seen. Can ever imagine.

So just like... I don't know call me back or some shit.

[Paul doesn't call back that night. For one, he recognizes a man in the depths of a bottle; for another, he has to watch the video again, and again, curled up underneath a quilt with the volume set so quiet he all but has to hold his Omni against his ear like a shell.

He sends his answer in the late morning of the next day, and it's almost like he has a sympathetic affliction to match Johnny's as he calls from a dimly lit room, his dark hair mussed, his face blanched ghost-pale. He's even wearing tinted glasses despite the closed black curtains behind him.]

You didn't let me down, Sensei Lawrence.

[There's some kind of distortion in the audio, an odd reverberation in Paul's very soft voice.]

[Oh the bright side, Johnny seems to be in better shape than he was the night before. Or at least he isn't completely hungover.

Johnny makes note of the sunglasses and the and the pale skin. Had Paul been drinking too? Apparently Johnny was going to have to teach him how to more water while he was at it.

There is a hint of relief on his face when it settles in that Paul was alive and well enough.]

I don't know about that, kid. But-

Well hell I'm not going to argue with you about that when you just came back to life.

How are you holding up?

I'm all right.

[And evidently fixated on some immensely interesting point on the floor, out of view of his Omen's transmitting eyes. Paul shifts in place, pulling a dark blanket tighter around his shoulders.]

Did you-

[His breath catches in the back of his throat. He tucks his chin, hair falling over his already hidden eyes. Whatever he was about to ask (mean it?) shifts.]

Are you all right, sensei?

Good.

Yeah.

Good. That's great.

[Look Johnny has long sucked at being a father figure or actually treating the people he cares about right. He's fumbling at how to actually show that he's glad that Paul is alright.]

Me? Of course, I'm alright. It's going to take more than some piece of shit monster or dying or anything else from keeping me down. Don't you worry about that.

[That wasn't a hundred percent true in the slightest, but he could pull himself out of the depths. He had done it before and he'd do it again. It was easier knowing his student was alive and kicking.]

But you better be ready to give it your all when you're ready. Just because that fight is over doesn't mean we can slack off. You're going to have to start training for the next one.

Yes, sensei.

[Subdued and yet certain, because whether Johnny is fumbling or not, the weight of him reaching out to Paul after all of this is an intangible counterpart to the blanket whose edge he fidgets with, his head still bowed.]

...I heard what you did. You didn't- [his breath wavers on the inhale] You didn't owe me that.

I was the one who let you down. I let-

[He cuts himself short, drawing his hand back inside the blanket and hugging his knees closer to his chest.]

[Johnny messed up enough with his own son back at home that he really didn't want to mess up with another kid. And he couldn't help but shake the fact that him being here could be screwing up just as badly with Miguel. He had to do what he could hear to fend off feeling like a total failure.

He let's out a huff of a chuckle when what he did was brought up.]

Like hell I didn't. You're my student and that thing fucked you up. I... Couldn't do much to it but I wasn't about to back down and let it get away with that.

[He was painfully aware of his limitations here but that wouldn't mess with his principals.]

You didn't. Look at all the shit you did to make sure people were ready to kick the shit out of that thing. This town is still standing because of what you did.

Don't you ever forget that.

You made Cobra Kai proud. You...

You made me proud.

[When Johnny said it before, Paul could tell himself that it wasn't truly meant. That he couldn't hold Johnny to those words, and therefore, that he shouldn't think about them.

Paul's breath catches in the back of his throat as his head jerks up, his eyes bright and wide behind his borrowed glasses. He opens his mouth to speak, and a noise comes out that's worse than any distortion of his voice, a hitching, ugly ragged sound-

The video component of the feed cuts out on Paul's end, his Omen answering his silent, wordless need. In the moment after, Paul buries his face in his palms, fingers sliding up under sunglasses lens to press hard at the corners of his eyes.]

I should have done better.

[Paul controls himself by the thinnest margin, throttles the threat of tears.]

I should have kept you safe. I should have kept all of you safe, and I didn't, and - I'm so sorry, sensei.

[Johnny cuts the video at the same time. More out of respect for Paul's choice than anything. He hears the crack in his voice and the tone it takes and Johnny's heart utterly breaks.

This kid had the weight of the world on his shoulders and pulled it off like a champ and he was acting like this.]

You did fucking amazing, kid. And don't let anyone tell you any different.

It's because of you that we were able to have a place to revive back into. Because of you that we gathered up and took that thing down in the first place.

It's because of you that thing is dead at all.

Don't you let anyone tell you any different.

You are he biggest, toughest fucking badass that this place has ever seen.

I will personally kick the shit out of anyone who says any different.

We're the ones who have to get on your level.

[Gideon told Paul that it wasn't his fault. Lazarus told him there was nothing he could have changed. God picked up his pieces and fit them back into this semblance of self.

But no one has been unabashedly proud of him, a thing that he shouldn't even want -that he didn't want, until it was given, and the void of an unmet need opened up to swallow it like the cracks of drought-ravaged earth under rain.]

Thank you, sensei.

[There's still that awful vulnerability, but with it, there's a rallied resolve. It comes back like thawing fingers, all necessary pins and needles.]

But with respect - if I was a badass, so were you, and I might have called them, but you taught them. You made us a team, not strangers.

[The training, the movies. Even the littering, in its own way. All these things that added up to more than Paul expected.]

You gave us Cobra Kai. And Cobra Kai never dies.

[Johnny was proud of Paul. Through and through and he wanted the kid to understand just how much his actions had an impact on this world. At least in Johnny's opinion here.]

Don't mention it.

[Except please mention it. Johnny was just as starved for validation in his own life and hearing what Paul had to say next made a little but very apparent grin form on his lips.]

You're damn right it doesn't.

And I'm not going to argue with any of that. And just because the fight is over doesn't mean another one isn't around the corner. There's plenty more we can do to be ready for the next one.

[It will take more than one conversation to set things right. Paul has work ahead of him, long and difficult. But this feels like the ground underneath him is a little firmer, and as he's sure Johnny would say, you can't kick ass without a strong base. It makes Paul smile, that thought. Just a little bit.]

You're right. And I want to be there for it. We have a dojo to get into shape.

[He's part of that, still. He belongs to something.]

I should let you get back to training. But I'll be there for the next practice, sensei.

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