You are. I told you were special. And you are special to me.
[Paul has a unique soul, he can tell by how it shines so much brighter than that of those around him. A great destiny awaits him, Kaworu is sure of that. But that matters less and less now. Paul is unique among humans in his behaviors and his thoughts and it drew Kaworu to him and holds him close now.
It's perhaps a little forward, but what is the point of hiding feelings after everything that's happened? And when has Kaworu ever cared about such things anyway?
(If he'd told Shinji Ikari that he was also special and special in his heart, would things have been different between them? Had ended differently? Could it have righted past wrongs?)]
[Being special is nothing new to Paul. He has been special since before he was born, that great destiny poured into spiraling helices as surely as the natural green of his eyes or the twisting curls of his dark hair. It thrums in his blood even now, that specialness, an unfurling of awful intention.
But Kaworu says it to him in a kitchen, with Paul's handprint wet with only water on his arm, next to a warming pot on a stove, and it is nothing like a chanted name or a whisper in his wake.
What choice does he have, then, but to tug Kaworu into his arms? What option is there but to tuck his head against Paul's shoulder, over the steady rhythm of his heart?]
["Absence makes the heart grow fonder." A strange saying that humans have to justify their feelings of loneliness and the desire for affection.
Or so he thought. Those days he spent with his soul out of place, unable to reconcile it's station in his body and so his body in the world made him realize how much he was glad to recognize when someone else was near. When he could touch someone else and feel both their skin and his at the same time. And now when he could wrap his arms around Paul and know for sure that he's here in this place, at this time, with someone. Even if that place is a simple kitchen in a dangerous place, he can feel Paul's heartbeat and the pressure of his chest expanding and closing space that already has no gaps.
He'd missed it.]
So I will look after you. Even though I was not created to be a guardian.
[A huff of breath at that, gentle and warm, as Paul turns his face against Kaworu's hopelessly mussed hair. It tickles his nose; it smells like a sea breeze on a sunny day, swept in from a wider ocean.
The other sea draws away.]
You're still good at it.
[If his mouth brushes across the high bone of Kaworu's temple, glancing and soft, before he leans back against the counter and turns his head to watch the pot, to wait for it to boil - he doesn't think anything of it. He adjusts the slight weight of Kaworu's body in his arms, content to let him lean against him, if he wants to.]
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[Paul has a unique soul, he can tell by how it shines so much brighter than that of those around him. A great destiny awaits him, Kaworu is sure of that. But that matters less and less now. Paul is unique among humans in his behaviors and his thoughts and it drew Kaworu to him and holds him close now.
It's perhaps a little forward, but what is the point of hiding feelings after everything that's happened? And when has Kaworu ever cared about such things anyway?
(If he'd told Shinji Ikari that he was also special and special in his heart, would things have been different between them? Had ended differently? Could it have righted past wrongs?)]
no subject
But Kaworu says it to him in a kitchen, with Paul's handprint wet with only water on his arm, next to a warming pot on a stove, and it is nothing like a chanted name or a whisper in his wake.
What choice does he have, then, but to tug Kaworu into his arms? What option is there but to tuck his head against Paul's shoulder, over the steady rhythm of his heart?]
So are you. [Quiet as prayer.] To me.
no subject
Or so he thought. Those days he spent with his soul out of place, unable to reconcile it's station in his body and so his body in the world made him realize how much he was glad to recognize when someone else was near. When he could touch someone else and feel both their skin and his at the same time. And now when he could wrap his arms around Paul and know for sure that he's here in this place, at this time, with someone. Even if that place is a simple kitchen in a dangerous place, he can feel Paul's heartbeat and the pressure of his chest expanding and closing space that already has no gaps.
He'd missed it.]
So I will look after you. Even though I was not created to be a guardian.
no subject
The other sea draws away.]
You're still good at it.
[If his mouth brushes across the high bone of Kaworu's temple, glancing and soft, before he leans back against the counter and turns his head to watch the pot, to wait for it to boil - he doesn't think anything of it. He adjusts the slight weight of Kaworu's body in his arms, content to let him lean against him, if he wants to.]
I haven't set anything on fire, this time.