It won't be easier... When we find her-- [ When. ] It'll be hard.
[ His voice carries the bleakness of experience. He remembers a boy's pale fingers touching his cheek without an ounce of emotional warmth. His voice fades to a whisper almost drowned under the sound of waves. ]
[ He almost asks Are you going to be okay? before he realizes the answer in the present is no and the answer in the future is murky at best. There hasn't been enough time. ]
[ He normally wouldn't be so blunt. Even now there isn't force in his voice. He's not a rude person--except when he is. It's something a friend might say to him when he's down and being stubborn about it. If only he were as good at asking help for himself as he is giving it. ]
It's okay to feel bad. It's normal. Do you want anything? Even just food or something. I'm always out. I can pick something up.
[ His mom would make him his favorite food when he was down. His friends would encourage him to take care of himself. (He's forgotten to do that again.) ]
[ She wants to take that offer, wants it like water in the desert of her heart, but she can't bring herself to. It's just an ephemeral illusion, kindness, love, a home, everything that tied her back to humanity. She'll just weaken herself and become dependent again if she relies on his warmth. She'll just get hurt. ]
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[ He doesn't yet know about Falco, or he'd sound angrier. But... he'd still say the same thing. ]
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But I can't do it alone...
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i want to find her too okay
and ill look
but its too fucking much
but ill look
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[ His voice carries the bleakness of experience. He remembers a boy's pale fingers touching his cheek without an ounce of emotional warmth. His voice fades to a whisper almost drowned under the sound of waves. ]
Can't let that stop us.
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ill help find her
but i cant be around her
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Do you need anything?
[ he asks instead. ]
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i dont need shit
[ Yes. A lot of things. ]
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[ He normally wouldn't be so blunt. Even now there isn't force in his voice. He's not a rude person--except when he is. It's something a friend might say to him when he's down and being stubborn about it. If only he were as good at asking help for himself as he is giving it. ]
It's okay to feel bad. It's normal. Do you want anything? Even just food or something. I'm always out. I can pick something up.
[ His mom would make him his favorite food when he was down. His friends would encourage him to take care of himself. (He's forgotten to do that again.) ]
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[ She wants to take that offer, wants it like water in the desert of her heart, but she can't bring herself to. It's just an ephemeral illusion, kindness, love, a home, everything that tied her back to humanity. She'll just weaken herself and become dependent again if she relies on his warmth. She'll just get hurt. ]
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I'll call back later.