You are very obstinate. It will probably get you killed some day, you know.
I wasn't suggesting you change sides, for the record, that would be ridiculous. And I think at this point, extremely unlikely to be accepted on his end as well.
I was suggesting you understand what you're dealing with, rather than assume that you already do. But I have no personal investment either way.
If you get what I've got going now, then you probably understand 'like-minded souls' too.
For the record, I'm not mad. But, for someone who doesn't care? You seem pretty invested in my well being. After hearing about what everyone else saw, you probably saved me from something worse.
I didn't. Death is death. I'm sure that being gored by a giant bee would have been moderately less pleasant, but being stabbed in the chest is hardly much better.
You're free to misread my intentions to your heart's content. It matters little in the end.
You at least don't lie and pretend to be what you're not.
A part of me was probably stabbed in the chest before. I know a part of me died by fire, by the hands of his beloved, alone and in the abyss of his own heart...
[He paused the collect himself, the '...' on the screen bubbling up several times. It was too easy to get lost in the open waters of memories and lifetimes without the anchor of his own body.]
Sorry.
This is weird.
The part that is Me hasn't been on this side of the equation before.
You know what I am, then? What makes you so sure I am not pretending even now?
Our circumstances aren't entirely similar regarding this. At least not to the Me that you are speaking to. I believe there is a further along version that might empathize a bit more. An amalgamate with memories of multiple lifetimes, all that I had a hand in, all that were mine in some way.
I take it this is Your first time dying?
My first time was by fire. My father burnt me to ashes.
That wasn't the look of someone with a plan. That look reminded me of an old woman down the road from my Aunt's farm slaughtering a chicken for a potluck. You were just doing what you thought you needed to do.
I still don't understand Why. But, I've had decent relations with people that attacked me before.
You're right, though. This was My first time dying. Somehow, I made it a year in Julia's dream and a year in Trench with avoiding it.
Your assumption is that it is simply my nature to destroy, like an eagle will devour a mouse, I would slaughter you for your interruption.
You're correct that I felt nothing when I killed you, but it wasn't because I didn't have a plan. It was because like harvesting crops or slaughtering livestock, eventually, you become numb to it. You're just not remarkable enough to provoke a specific reaction, frankly.
Honestly, I find that very impressive, given your remarkable tendency for intentionally antagonizing sleepers more dangerous than you are without a plan. Congrats on your record.
But, I don't think pissing off Mariana is the way to go, either.
I'm just mad at That Guy because he's messed with people in my home, and he led people to believe that he was someone who cared about them. He's definitely a Man and that means he's got a limit somewhere.
Whatever his plans are, he didn't need to get others involved.
[Someone unfamiliar with them might see that as a trusting or gullible statement. But really, it contains the bitter harsh contempt of a child who was failed by every adult in their life and death, by a child who had to see the horrors committed in their name - in the name of love, not just for them, but for everyone around them.
They cared about their family. They cared about the other characters. They felt nothing as the two of them killed them all.
LOVE is so much more reliable than love.]
He was also using them for his own ends, and would have sacrificed them as easily as he sacrificed the pirates for his own agenda. In this way, he is a human, and it shows.
In my personal opinion, pissing off Mariana was very poorly thought out considering she is, for all intents and purposes, by far the strongest Pthumerian here. If he had shared his plan with me, I would have advised against it.
But any plan to change the world is going to involve people against their will. Not just his. Allen Walker's ambitions are just as dangerous in that way, even if they are far more benevolent in their intentions.
I haven't been paying attention to Allen Walker, but anyone who can organize something that large that quickly can be dangerous.
Including Paul.
[The first person to have gained his attention-- because people in his own house became involved with the proji to defend against a Leviathan that one boy saw emerging from the depths.]
... I see your point. They're all people-- and people can be amazing AND frightening.
Honestly, if he hadn't been part of the equation when I was checking on Paul after that monster attacked, I'd have not pursued anything with John. But he got involved with someone I had already decided to watch... And he also got involved with some of my close friends and the people I'm living with.
I don't doubt that he does care, on some level. The same goes for you. I just don't understand all this.
What would you have done with Mariana instead? Cooperate?
Paul is extremely dangerous. He once told me that he's never found a limit to his power. I'm inclined to believe him. He's a natural leader, can effectively rally an army on his word, and he's fantastic at still appearing well-meaning and earnest. Mostly, I suspect, because he is earnest.
In another life, I'm certain he would have turned out to be a threat to surpass The Necromancer, myself, even your witch.
But it's not too late for him. He has a kind soul, despite the terrible purpose he was created for. Not like The Necromancer or I. Look after him. Don't let him go astray. Or I'll kill you again.
Humanity is unmatched in it's cruel destructive nature. All of humanity has uncountable sins to be punished for or to atone for. I have played the role of avenging angel and atoning champion. They were not worth either.
You have misunderstood me, again, though you're getting closer.
My suggestion to The Necromancer would not be cooperation. More... redirection, I suppose. It's moot now. I genuinely don't think he has any plans for the near future.
My suggestion to you is to do what you believe is necessary, but do it intelligently. You have not identified yourself as a threat, but you have identified yourself as an irritating pest. The more he loses, the more inclined he will be to crush you and ensure you never come back. You can't survive on the mercy of demons.
If you want to destroy him, find a way to destroy him. If you want to stop him, give him a reason not to kill you so that you might try, by reason or by duplicity. Just be careful not to exchange him for something worse.
[He read the comment once-- twice-- thrice, even, to be sure that he was reading everything correctly. Amid the promises of death he saw no threat. Rather, on some level, that Chara was teaching him.
Or using him.]
Guess the only thing we can trust here is the limitless potential inside of people.
I'm listening, Chara. You have my word that I'll do my best to keep Paul above board. We have an arrangement. Or, we did before the boat.
It'll need another look, I think.
I'll do what I can about John. We have allies beside him and one of them is fond of me. This could be helpful.
After this gets fixed, I'm going to be needing his help anyway.
This can't happen again.
About your part, though... Which are you today? The avenging angel or the atoning champion?
Neither. I outgrew both delusions after I realized I could never be a hero. I was the dragon atop the mountain, the revenant that lingers after the tragedy, the red death at the masquerade, the angel cast down from paradise. But for now.
I am the demon that comes when it's name is called.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I wasn't suggesting you change sides, for the record, that would be ridiculous. And I think at this point, extremely unlikely to be accepted on his end as well.
I was suggesting you understand what you're dealing with, rather than assume that you already do. But I have no personal investment either way.
no subject
If you get what I've got going now, then you probably understand 'like-minded souls' too.
For the record, I'm not mad. But, for someone who doesn't care? You seem pretty invested in my well being. After hearing about what everyone else saw, you probably saved me from something worse.
So. Thanks. I think.
no subject
You're free to misread my intentions to your heart's content. It matters little in the end.
no subject
A part of me was probably stabbed in the chest before. I know a part of me died by fire, by the hands of his beloved, alone and in the abyss of his own heart...
[He paused the collect himself, the '...' on the screen bubbling up several times. It was too easy to get lost in the open waters of memories and lifetimes without the anchor of his own body.]
Sorry.
This is weird.
The part that is Me hasn't been on this side of the equation before.
no subject
Our circumstances aren't entirely similar regarding this. At least not to the Me that you are speaking to. I believe there is a further along version that might empathize a bit more. An amalgamate with memories of multiple lifetimes, all that I had a hand in, all that were mine in some way.
I take it this is Your first time dying?
My first time was by fire. My father burnt me to ashes.
no subject
That wasn't the look of someone with a plan. That look reminded me of an old woman down the road from my Aunt's farm slaughtering a chicken for a potluck. You were just doing what you thought you needed to do.
I still don't understand Why. But, I've had decent relations with people that attacked me before.
You're right, though. This was My first time dying. Somehow, I made it a year in Julia's dream and a year in Trench with avoiding it.
Figures this is when it caught me.
no subject
You're correct that I felt nothing when I killed you, but it wasn't because I didn't have a plan. It was because like harvesting crops or slaughtering livestock, eventually, you become numb to it. You're just not remarkable enough to provoke a specific reaction, frankly.
Honestly, I find that very impressive, given your remarkable tendency for intentionally antagonizing sleepers more dangerous than you are without a plan. Congrats on your record.
no subject
We'd probably end up fighting them anyway, if we chose to wake up in Remnant.
But... I guess thanks for being honest. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder waiting for the next dangerous mystery to pop up
...
Would you laugh if I told you that this place is still better than the home we left behind?
no subject
No, I wouldn't.
What I left behind is worse than this as well. That doesn't make this place a paradise, or something that shouldn't be changed.
no subject
But, I don't think pissing off Mariana is the way to go, either.
I'm just mad at That Guy because he's messed with people in my home, and he led people to believe that he was someone who cared about them. He's definitely a Man and that means he's got a limit somewhere.
Whatever his plans are, he didn't need to get others involved.
no subject
[Someone unfamiliar with them might see that as a trusting or gullible statement. But really, it contains the bitter harsh contempt of a child who was failed by every adult in their life and death, by a child who had to see the horrors committed in their name - in the name of love, not just for them, but for everyone around them.
They cared about their family. They cared about the other characters. They felt nothing as the two of them killed them all.
LOVE is so much more reliable than love.]
He was also using them for his own ends, and would have sacrificed them as easily as he sacrificed the pirates for his own agenda. In this way, he is a human, and it shows.
In my personal opinion, pissing off Mariana was very poorly thought out considering she is, for all intents and purposes, by far the strongest Pthumerian here. If he had shared his plan with me, I would have advised against it.
But any plan to change the world is going to involve people against their will. Not just his. Allen Walker's ambitions are just as dangerous in that way, even if they are far more benevolent in their intentions.
no subject
Including Paul.
[The first person to have gained his attention-- because people in his own house became involved with the proji to defend against a Leviathan that one boy saw emerging from the depths.]
... I see your point. They're all people-- and people can be amazing AND frightening.
Honestly, if he hadn't been part of the equation when I was checking on Paul after that monster attacked, I'd have not pursued anything with John. But he got involved with someone I had already decided to watch... And he also got involved with some of my close friends and the people I'm living with.
I don't doubt that he does care, on some level. The same goes for you. I just don't understand all this.
What would you have done with Mariana instead? Cooperate?
Is that what you'd have me do with him?
no subject
In another life, I'm certain he would have turned out to be a threat to surpass The Necromancer, myself, even your witch.
But it's not too late for him. He has a kind soul, despite the terrible purpose he was created for. Not like The Necromancer or I. Look after him. Don't let him go astray. Or I'll kill you again.
Humanity is unmatched in it's cruel destructive nature. All of humanity has uncountable sins to be punished for or to atone for. I have played the role of avenging angel and atoning champion. They were not worth either.
You have misunderstood me, again, though you're getting closer.
My suggestion to The Necromancer would not be cooperation. More... redirection, I suppose. It's moot now. I genuinely don't think he has any plans for the near future.
My suggestion to you is to do what you believe is necessary, but do it intelligently. You have not identified yourself as a threat, but you have identified yourself as an irritating pest. The more he loses, the more inclined he will be to crush you and ensure you never come back. You can't survive on the mercy of demons.
If you want to destroy him, find a way to destroy him. If you want to stop him, give him a reason not to kill you so that you might try, by reason or by duplicity. Just be careful not to exchange him for something worse.
no subject
Or using him.]
Guess the only thing we can trust here is the limitless potential inside of people.
I'm listening, Chara. You have my word that I'll do my best to keep Paul above board. We have an arrangement. Or, we did before the boat.
It'll need another look, I think.
I'll do what I can about John. We have allies beside him and one of them is fond of me. This could be helpful.
After this gets fixed, I'm going to be needing his help anyway.
This can't happen again.
About your part, though... Which are you today? The avenging angel or the atoning champion?
no subject
I am the demon that comes when it's name is called.
no subject
...Ruby made that for me, you know. It was the first weapon I had that was just mine and no one else's.
I'll need to ask her a new one if I'm to follow your assignments and avoid getting too much attention from you again.
no subject
They are gone. Unreachable by this place.
Besides. How could you call my name? You don't even know it.
no subject
2/2
Either way, you're a hard kid to get a read on.
no subject
If you're smart, you can figure it out on your own.
no subject
I'll figure it out.
And I'll figure out who hurt you, too.
no subject
Good luck, Oscar.
We'll see whose determination is stronger.