I was told we were going to see what was out there.
[True, but not the whole truth, and he's glad of the isolation of text. He doesn't want to see Viktor's face for this. But what his Teacher said might be important to know, when it comes to his motive, and if it was a lie, it's worth knowing the shape of it all the same.
So Paul dredges up the leaden, humiliating weight of truth to heave at Viktor's feet, because he's trying to help, and there's nothing else he can do in the face of that.]
That he wanted to see if we could find a way to draw specific Sleepers here of our choosing. I didn't tell anyone that. I didn't want to give anyone false hope. I said that we were exploring.
[It's more pathetic than he'd imagined, laid out plainly. A stupid boy willing to believe anything for the right bait.]
I thought we were. If I'd been the one choosing a crew, knowing what would happen, I would have left most of them behind.
[viktor's not exactly unfamiliar with the urge to punch someone, really this is just the first time he knows what it would feel like to punch john in the face. not as satisfying as he'd like, honestly.]
So the 'sacrifice,' you were unaware that was coming?
Paul tell me this, can you see a choice you could have made in that split moment that wouldn't leave you feeling the way you do now?
[Perhaps the mark of a scientist is their ability to put things under observation and make them squirm. Viktor wields his questions like scalpels and hammers both, and Paul isn’t sure which makes him flinch more.]
I should have known. What else is prescience supposed to be for, if I don’t know?
I can’t see it. I couldn’t see it. He said I was his navigator and I couldn’t even see
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[True, but not the whole truth, and he's glad of the isolation of text. He doesn't want to see Viktor's face for this. But what his Teacher said might be important to know, when it comes to his motive, and if it was a lie, it's worth knowing the shape of it all the same.
So Paul dredges up the leaden, humiliating weight of truth to heave at Viktor's feet, because he's trying to help, and there's nothing else he can do in the face of that.]
That he wanted to see if we could find a way to draw specific Sleepers here of our choosing. I didn't tell anyone that. I didn't want to give anyone false hope. I said that we were exploring.
[It's more pathetic than he'd imagined, laid out plainly. A stupid boy willing to believe anything for the right bait.]
I thought we were. If I'd been the one choosing a crew, knowing what would happen, I would have left most of them behind.
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So the 'sacrifice,' you were unaware that was coming?
Paul tell me this, can you see a choice you could have made in that split moment that wouldn't leave you feeling the way you do now?
cw: blood in icon
I should have known. What else is prescience supposed to be for, if I don’t know?
I can’t see it. I couldn’t see it.
He said I was his navigator and I couldn’t even see
What am I for if I can't
He didn't even need me to do it.
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And there's a reason why certain manipulations root deep enough to effect decisions without conscious orders.
You're fallible, Paul, and that is okay.
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I should go. I have things to do. Nothing drastic.
You're a good man, Viktor.
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