[Half hot, half cold. Paul understands the explanation fully now, faced with the manifested fury of Shouto's fierce inquiry. The calm in his voice exhibits a control that Paul would admire under any other circumstance, and still almost does even as the question slips a chill knife between his ribs.
His expression is drawn as a bridge across a moat when he answers the message, his answer steady and even:]
Yes.
[No lies, no excuses. He deserves the shelter of neither.]
[ There's a coldness in his eyes, the flames starting to recede as the pendulum swings the other way. ]
That's not something he'll get over.
[ None of them would. They came from a world built on the shoulders of giants where death was rare and heroes saved people no matter the odds. Where losing even one person was devastating, let alone being forced to watch and do nothing. The very thought turns his anger cold and unforgiving, dousing the flames. ]
[ The same gutless excuse as his father. Instead of facing what he wrought, he buried his head in the sand as if that would make anyone feel better. Having lived it, the idea of Midoriya going through the same thing stokes his anger into a cold fury. ]
You're running away.
[ Frost starts to creep up his neck, seeding crystals that spread down his jaw. ]
[Paul will come to regret not stopping to conceal this conversation some time in the future, but in the instant of Shouto's accusation he is not afflicted with much concern for anything that comes after it. His eye snaps open with a flash of eerie blue light in its green iris, his jaw tightening with an emotion indefinable even to him.]
A coward?
[He drops his hand. It curls into a fist as its twin does, both hidden out of view of his Omni at his sides.]
I'm worse than a coward. I'm a traitor. Why should I ask him to bear that?
[If Paul was a better disciplined person, he'd be able to keep the crack out of his voice even now, in the extremity of loss. He'd be as cold as Shouto is, but without the fury. He'd accept his fate with the stoicism of a fated monster.
But he can't stop thinking of Izuku, blood-splattered, wounded in body and soul. He can't stop wanting to have wiped the tears from his face and taken him into his arms, traitor or not. He can't stop wanting, and this is always his weakness.]
He doesn't want to see me. Should I force him to? Is that what you're asking me to do?
[ There's a downside to the coldness. It makes him numb to everything, friend and foe alike, and Paul lies precariously on the latter end of the spectrum. ]
If he doesn't want to see you, then you have your answer.
[ Him, Paul wants to say, hanging on the tip of his treacherous tongue, but how can he say that in light of his actions? He has not behaved as though that was true, not really - not the way he should have. ]
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un: younghuman | video
His expression is drawn as a bridge across a moat when he answers the message, his answer steady and even:]
Yes.
[No lies, no excuses. He deserves the shelter of neither.]
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You made him watch!
Aren't you supposed to be his friend?!
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I should have been.
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[ There's a coldness in his eyes, the flames starting to recede as the pendulum swings the other way. ]
That's not something he'll get over.
[ None of them would. They came from a world built on the shoulders of giants where death was rare and heroes saved people no matter the odds. Where losing even one person was devastating, let alone being forced to watch and do nothing. The very thought turns his anger cold and unforgiving, dousing the flames. ]
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[His voice has a brittle, breaking quality, a roughness coming through his raw throat from his equally raw nerves.]
Like I should have done from the beginning.
[He presses the heel of one hand into an eye, closing the other.]
I know what I did to him.
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You're running away.
[ Frost starts to creep up his neck, seeding crystals that spread down his jaw. ]
Like a spineless coward.
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A coward?
[He drops his hand. It curls into a fist as its twin does, both hidden out of view of his Omni at his sides.]
I'm worse than a coward. I'm a traitor. Why should I ask him to bear that?
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You tell him what you did.
How you betrayed him, and take what he gives you.
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[If Paul was a better disciplined person, he'd be able to keep the crack out of his voice even now, in the extremity of loss. He'd be as cold as Shouto is, but without the fury. He'd accept his fate with the stoicism of a fated monster.
But he can't stop thinking of Izuku, blood-splattered, wounded in body and soul. He can't stop wanting to have wiped the tears from his face and taken him into his arms, traitor or not. He can't stop wanting, and this is always his weakness.]
He doesn't want to see me. Should I force him to? Is that what you're asking me to do?
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If he doesn't want to see you, then you have your answer.
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I guess you're right.
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You or him.
apologies for the late reply
I will.
Hey, I took a whole month off, you’re good!