[like objectively he is, but still, be gentle with the questions?? that's a Top Five Best Person(s) you are talking to, sir. this is a not here conversation held in private but still via silent expressions, by nerds.]
[we could have said action like normal people but]
[have a sigh, then a long, understanding look of okay, he won't get too much. or. he'll try and pal will be here to elbow him again if he does so that works too. see, he respects the sacred weird dumb rivalry here.
and to be fair he could have said 'why didn't you consume gideon's soul to use as a horrible furnace' but tried to be nice about it? effort.]
[thanks, he'll be ready to elbow at a moment's notice if he truly must!! and double thanks for not saying that insane other option, jesus christ. he is Content... for now.]
In a way. It was a Trench incident that made it somewhat necessary he inform me of what it meant. You know how they are.
I am sharing this with him, so you are aware. And I am not surprised, the entire thing is horrifying. The fact you were brought there and not told what the price would be?
[ It's a while before Gideon responds. Long enough that Viktor would be excused for thinking she never intended to respond at all.
Gideon considers it, but her silence speaks volumes, too. ]
no she stopped the process
[ There is another way - Gideon is living proof of that - but it's not something Harrow knows, and she promised her father she'd try. So here she is, trying. ]
[he does wonder for a while if maybe he crossed a line- well, he'd apologize if need be, the picture of don't ask permission, as forgiveness with this sort of shit.
and he does like gideon, so he'd feel kind of bad about, you know, making her think about horrific things and what not. but gideon answers and hm.]
I am not sure I understand. If she stopped it would she not be a lyctor then?
listen all you need to know is that im harrows cavalier which means if i think a question is gonna put her in danger or is just full of bullshit then im not gonna answer
why do you care
[ justice or concern don't cross Gideon's mind. Viktor is a nice enough guy, and he's close to Palamedes, but Gideon still doesn't know him that well. Why would he care about this, especially on Harrow's behalf? ]
And in truth? I suppose there is no harm in saying it, he knows how I feel. I find your emperor's practices repulsive, how Canaan House happened, how cavaliers are treated as expendable, the propaganda from birth and obligatory devotion.
It is wrong, that is why I care. In this case I have learned what I wish. It is good to know Harrow understood as much.
[ah, this is probably where he should stop, but on he goes.]
I do not doubt your devotion is real, what I doubt is how much choice you truly had in it and how safe it would have been for you to reject it.
But I am an outsider, so my word is largely that of a very diminished perspective, that I will admit. I do not think you are stupid, by the way. We are all the products of our culture and upbringing one way or another.
you really want to know? fine i died becoming a cavalier and i would have died otherwise but its more than being some stupid furnace i swore to protect her no matter what isnt there anything youd protect no matter what
[ Harrow might guess that Gideon has managed to handle addressing this situation, but—on the other hand, it isn't Gideon's responsibility to take on the weight of Harrow's actions. Even if this one was technically spurned by Gideon herself. She can answer honestly and not look bad: ]
Yes, which she is.
I simply [ yes of course it was EXTREMELY SIMPLE ] paused the work at an earlier point in order to improve upon the previous generation's design flaws. Sextus and I had discussed doing so in a more controlled fashion before the situation forced our hands—but I was not willing to risk her to the extent of the original formula.
To be perfectly accurate, I suppose I am an incomplete Lyctor. A "Diet Lyctor" if you ask the Saint of Patience.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[he took a while to decide to just Ask and deal with the consequences if this is something he should not just be asking. whoops.]
[not here in the chat]
[still not here in the chat]
[the chat is spared]
[we could have said action like normal people but]
and to be fair he could have said 'why didn't you consume gideon's soul to use as a horrible furnace' but tried to be nice about it? effort.]
[action.]
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yeah sometimes im inside her
[ nailed it ]
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[sorry.]
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hey man thats barely oversharing im not going full frontal sexy nuns of the ninth mode
also it was
you know
a joke
im really funny
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But on the original topic, do you mean to say you were part of her lyctorhood? Were you separated when you came here?
private
did pal tell you
its supposed to be some big huge secret
i had to last through so many murders to even figure it out
fuckin sucked i tell you what
private
I am sharing this with him, so you are aware. And I am not surprised, the entire thing is horrifying. The fact you were brought there and not told what the price would be?
[stopping from getting On That Again, whoops]
permaprivate; cw: indentured servitude
i mean we definitely suspected death was an option
but before you get any bright ideas [ or start hating the wrong person ] harrow didnt want it
once she knew
just so were clear
permaprivate also
That is why I was and am surprised she calls herself a lyctor. She found another way that did not truly consume you?
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Gideon considers it, but her silence speaks volumes, too. ]
no
she stopped the process
[ There is another way - Gideon is living proof of that - but it's not something Harrow knows, and she promised her father she'd try. So here she is, trying. ]
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and he does like gideon, so he'd feel kind of bad about, you know, making her think about horrific things and what not. but gideon answers and hm.]
I am not sure I understand. If she stopped it would she not be a lyctor then?
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which means if i think a question is gonna put her in danger or is just full of bullshit then im not gonna answer
why do you care
[ justice or concern don't cross Gideon's mind. Viktor is a nice enough guy, and he's close to Palamedes, but Gideon still doesn't know him that well. Why would he care about this, especially on Harrow's behalf? ]
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And in truth? I suppose there is no harm in saying it, he knows how I feel. I find your emperor's practices repulsive, how Canaan House happened, how cavaliers are treated as expendable, the propaganda from birth and obligatory devotion.
It is wrong, that is why I care. In this case I have learned what I wish. It is good to know Harrow understood as much.
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But that wouldn't make Viktor understand, and would just open up a series of even worse questions.
There's just one point she wants to make sure he gets: ]
my devotion was never obligatory
i wasnt tricked
news flash im not as stupid as i look
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I do not doubt your devotion is real, what I doubt is how much choice you truly had in it and how safe it would have been for you to reject it.
But I am an outsider, so my word is largely that of a very diminished perspective, that I will admit. I do not think you are stupid, by the way. We are all the products of our culture and upbringing one way or another.
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you really want to know?
fine
i died becoming a cavalier and i would have died otherwise
but its more than being some stupid furnace
i swore to protect her no matter what
isnt there anything youd protect no matter what
[ or anyone? but that's a bit personal. ]
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I suppose I should simply be upfront. I find your 'Emperor's' methods and ideas disdainful, more so the glorifying of this process.
Hm, perhaps calling it furnaces is unkind, ultimately. My apologies there.
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Yes, which she is.
I simply [ yes of course it was EXTREMELY SIMPLE ] paused the work at an earlier point in order to improve upon the previous generation's design flaws. Sextus and I had discussed doing so in a more controlled fashion before the situation forced our hands—but I was not willing to risk her to the extent of the original formula.
To be perfectly accurate, I suppose I am an incomplete Lyctor. A "Diet Lyctor" if you ask the Saint of Patience.
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Do you have plans or ideas on how to complete the formula then?